I fear that i am ordinary, just like everyone
to lie here and die among the sorrows
adrift among the days
for everything i ever said
and everything i've ever done is gone and dead
as all things must surely have to end
and great loves will one day have to part
i know that i am meant for this world
my life has been ewxtraordinary
blessed and cursed and won
time heals but i'm forever broken
by and by the way...
lmfao. Becky told the guy we have a crush on that one of her friends is like in "love" w/ him.. lol ;x I feel like such a jr high kid. But eh he really wanted to know who and why she wouldnt tell him so I told her to say bc "she" knew it wasnt realistic..lmao GAHHH! butterflies :| its okay though. Its one of those things only your friends get to know and stuff :x (sigh) lmao this is so fun~
lol amanda just called and asked for math homework...but im dumb. so im sorry that im not helpful :[
I guess I should try to stay awake in math class more often, eh :/
So tomorrow I have my first job interview EVER! Isnt that creepy? yah well..its going to be hard to convince them to hire me bc there are some complications. But eh, well see.
Shit. Im supposed to call my brother. But um, Im just staring at the phone...okay..been starin at the phone for the past 3 minutes now...I wonder if it will slide over to me and dial the number..hell..maybe even talk for me :[
Its weird talking to him on the phone..hell be like.."HEY HUN! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? HOWS (not many people in my family practice good english..clearly) MOM AND DANNY? HOWS SCHOOL?" And that last parts where he usually loses my focus. Because, he dropped out of HS when he was in 11th grade- like a dumbass. So uh hell try to be all like "dont make the same mistakes that I did!" yet..he hasnt changed at all..so..he..gah hes just frustrating. He got married to this girl hes not even known half a year..probably like half of half of a year..and after you do the math..lol..thats not too long. That makes me sick. Im never going to be like that..I hope at least. Both my brother and sis dropped out of school..my sister in 10th grade..and when she was like 19-20 she got married to this guy..who was an ex convict..and they had a kid...then she moved back here..and met this other guy..and they had a kid..and NOW shes had another kid with the current guy. Hes not too bad I suppose- he kinda..worries me sometimes though. Anywho..my brothers now married as well..and workin at Taco Bell..he doesnt even have a car. So erm..being the youngest..who I always thought steryotypically was the least succesful..I have to be the most sucessful in terms of..career..living situation..all that. Dont get me wrong..my sis and brother are both really great..and my sister has the cutest kids and I love them to death..and thats the kind of life she wanted- and shell be succesful..but not for herself..for her kids...I dono thats just not for me..
anyway enough.
So. Jamies still not back. I decided a couple wks ago that since shes..missing..I wont write to her anymore..then it came to me in math class (thats the class where I think about my life...because..its too hard to pay attention to the teacher ;x ) anyway..im going to write to her everyday. And if and when I talk to her again..ill send them to her..and I thought..what if she dies or something..because as far off as that might sound..ive been setting myself up for these kinds of circumstances since 8th grade..i can like..do something special with them or something, yah know?
So, Gibby got a new job! In like oskaloosa er something.. lmao me and becky were like..hey gibby we should go to another movie! (we saw him and mrs. k @ the movies one time) and hes like yah!!!!!! Well..OH..Im going out of town this wknd..and next wknd..hm how about graduation wknd?! lmfao and were like SURE! and hes like what do you want to see? And Becky told him she wants to see that stupid fish show..lmfao ;x
gahh everyones getting sick :[ my sister has strep throat..jesusss..she has her tonsils out too :|
WELP. im done
<3
