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He'd make such a great secret if I could keep him
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
WELL, HELLO THERE.
Good ole Amanda just emailed me and was like hey, you should update your blog. So, I decided I would, since I feel like just venting anyway. Lots of stuff has been going on...most importantly- band. We have our first football game this Friday- its so crazy, I feel like I felt my freshman year when we were getting ready for our first game. Like, being drum major is way different from playing my trusty clarinet. Nonetheless, Im very excited. I know things will go great.
Other than band..wow I think I forgot I have a life outside of band..lol..actually Im pretty stressed out with pre calc right now, because..I have that class right after lunch..and Im alwayyyys tired right after lunch..and Ankos voice practically puts me to sleep..so Im not doin so hot right now..but Justin is going to tutor me, so hopefully Ill get the hang of things
gahh I have been sick lately..which is the last thing I need at the moment..I had some...weird..sickness which was basically really bad strep throat...although..the doctor really couldnt give me a name for it..lol..uh :/ willickers
but anyway, I feel like Im losing my voice..but for the past like 4 nights Ive felt like that..which, really just..isnt cool. I need it lol. GAH...jeepers. I havent heard that for sooo long :/
hm unfortunately something that is pretty much constantly on my mind is my boy situation. Really, anymore..there is no situation..so youre probably saying..well then you shouldnt have a problem if theres no situation..but thats exactly why I do have a problem. Probably the worst feeling in the world is getting close to someone, and really letting yourself lose boundaries..I guess is the way I would explain it..like..letting your guard down contrary to what your c oncious is telling you...and then getting hurt despite your best efforts..thats probably the worst. Like, I had been through a VERY mini version of this whole thing with the same person..a year ago...and I got hurt pretty bad...and I happily put myself into the same position..because I really love this fella..and I just got my heart broken. I mean I really havent said this to anyone, and I dont think I feel comfortable having a conversation about what Im about to say..but Im honestly in so much pain right now..I keep making myself focus on other things because I dont want to feel like this..but Ive never been so hurt in my entire life..this is hell for me. And Im so angry with him but at the same time I understand that the way things are now...theyre logical. The whole situation had it gone any farther wouldve been just one big complication...so I understand that he pushed me away, however...I think with my heart...I hate how corny I sound right now..oh well..anyway I think with my heart, so ultimately I dont care about the consequences that there would have been..because Im in love with him..and thats what matters the most...not..what could happen...and the problems there would be...
guh really this kills me. Ive never felt like..so sad....I have to fight with myself to not think about him, like..if I do...I feel depressed the rest of the day. I dont want this. God I just miss him so much. I want the summer back :/
guh..
I have to be up in 7 hours..so Im gonna take a shower and head to bed...
sorry for the randomness..im not crazy..i promise :[
Monday, August 09, 2004
WOW! Its been quite awhile since Ive posted. Ive had sooo much stuff goin on. I went to a drum major camp in Ohio, it was OUTSTANDING! Then..the day I got back we had rookie camp..and the next week and a half was band camp. The good news is, Im so dark Im practically African. Its magnificent. Hmm..I went to work for the first time in a few weeks yesterday. I was actually like 2 1/2 hours late. I went with Bluford, Cayla, Nick P., Allison, and Dani to DCI world championships. OMGGGGG- the coolest thing Ive ever done. I could watch that stuff 24/7. Like..I would become a bum and grow a beard and never shower and cary a pack and just walk around the country watching Drum Cores. Okay, Im exaggerating a little bit- I wouldnt grow a beard. Mostly because its impossible. Anyway...it was AWESOME, and I recommend to everyone..before you die go to DCI world championships. As a matter of fact, I want to be in one. Im going to learn the mellophone/baritone this year..and try and tavel with the Cavaliers next year..then the next year try out for a Core. Itll be awesome. The thing that sucks though, is you can be in one when youre 17. I wish I wouldve learned a brass instrument early on..and then tried out for a core last year. I could be traveling around the world right now. Anyway :/
School starts soon..Im not excited.
Well, I would type more but I feel like workin on some stuff..so maybe next time!
Monday, July 05, 2004
I could be sleeping right now...bah
Well, a lot has been goin on lately. Ive been hangin out with Angela a lot. Good times.
Hm. Yesterday was the 4th. Magnificent. I worked all day (time and a half though) and then went and got dinner with Danny, and we visited my sister for awhile. Then, I came home..talked to my friend that was at Angelas and went over there for awhile. They lit off some fireworks, and it was right by Dan Gs house...there were a lot of people over there..lol, it was entertaining. After a couple of hours I came home and did nothing! Hm..I went to bed kinda late..and then the night before I didnt get much sleep because I was with Peachtree and this girl cayla...we went to Big Brain and Peachtree and her friend Taryn we were hangin out with got their ears pierced. After that we were tryin to go over to my friends friends house to watch fireworks because its near Rosenblat...but there were absolutely NO parking spots..so we just did a bunch of nothin for awhile..then got Taco Johns and headed back to Peachtrees. I kept everyone up late talking in these voices and being hilarious (as usual..lol)..and we had to get up real early because I had to work and they had church. It suckeddd..So..anyway. I was trying to sleep in today, but of course my step dad wakes me up saying I have a lot of stuff to do before I go out tonight. (were doing something for Crystal's birthday tonight) So, Im like..well, hey! Let me sleep..Ill get up later and Ill get my stuff done then. So he starts harassing me about getting up..and I need to clean my room..and do my laundry..,and call Dan about the mace. WELL! Dan is at work. So hes like WELL YOU CAN GO THERE AND TALK TO HIM! (Hes working on the tech crew) and Im like..UH absolutely not. Im not going to go to his work for something that I can call him about this evening..thats ridiculous. Its not like hes going to be in some store standing around doing nothing. So then he says I need to be more involved in this. UH O-M-G! lol I couldnt be more frustrated. See, I have this DM camp to go to. First step- I need more money. So, I work at the school for a week. Second- I need to find out all about this camp- so I do. Next, I have to register. My mom takes care of that. Now.. I have to find a way to get there. From the beginning I have said...my parents need to take me. There is absolutely no reason why they cant take me- but of course, Im wrong. So now..they wont listen to me or any of my ideas and as of now were not sure who is taking me and yatha yahta yahta. I have a few ideas- but its not good enough. But anyway, I also have a list of things I need to get...but I dont get paid for a few days..so thats impossible. But, of course Im just irresponsible- whatever.
And then, Im VERY angry about a discussion that someone told me about. All some people do is gossip- and they need to find something better to do.
And guilty by association- wow. I dont believe in that. I believe that it happens but I think its wrong- and the shit thats being said about me and the people Im supposedly hanging out with isnt true anyway- lol so..wow. Just wasting everyones time with that BS.
Anyway. I better get goin.
I could be sleeping right now...bah
Well, a lot has been goin on lately. Ive been hangin out with Angela a lot. Good times.
Hm. Yesterday was the 4th. Magnificent. I worked all day (time and a half though) and then went and got dinner with Danny, and we visited my sister for awhile. Then, I came home..talked to my friend that was at Angelas and went over there for awhile. They lit off some fireworks, and it was right by Dan Gs house...there were a lot of people over there..lol, it was entertaining. After a couple of hours I came home and did nothing! Hm..I went to bed kinda late..and then the night before I didnt get much sleep because I was with Peachtree and this girl cayla...we went to Big Brain and Peachtree and her friend Taryn we were hangin out with got their ears pierced. After that we were tryin to go over to my friends friends house to watch fireworks because its near Rosenblat...but there were absolutely NO parking spots..so we just did a bunch of nothin for awhile..then got Taco Johns and headed back to Peachtrees. I kept everyone up late talking in these voices and being hilarious (as usual..lol)..and we had to get up real early because I had to work and they had church. It suckeddd..So..anyway. I was trying to sleep in today, but of course my step dad wakes me up saying I have a lot of stuff to do before I go out tonight. (were doing something for Crystal's birthday tonight) So, Im like..well, hey! Let me sleep..Ill get up later and Ill get my stuff done then. So he starts harassing me about getting up..and I need to clean my room..and do my laundry..,and call Dan about the mace. WELL! Dan is at work. So hes like WELL YOU CAN GO THERE AND TALK TO HIM! (Hes working on the tech crew) and Im like..UH absolutely not. Im not going to go to his work for something that I can call him about this evening..thats ridiculous. Its not like hes going to be in some store standing around doing nothing. So then he says I need to be more involved in this. UH O-M-G! lol I couldnt be more frustrated. See, I have this DM camp to go to. First step- I need more money. So, I work at the school for a week. Second- I need to find out all about this camp- so I do. Next, I have to register. My mom takes care of that. Now.. I have to find a way to get there. From the beginning I have said...my parents need to take me. There is absolutely no reason why they cant take me- but of course, Im wrong. So now..they wont listen to me or any of my ideas and as of now were not sure who is taking me and yatha yahta yahta. I have a few ideas- but its not good enough. But anyway, I also have a list of things I need to get...but I dont get paid for a few days..so thats impossible. But, of course Im just irresponsible- whatever.
And then, Im VERY angry about a discussion that someone told me about. All some people do is gossip- and they need to find something better to do.
And guilty by association- wow. I dont believe in that. I believe that it happens but I think its wrong- and the shit thats being said about me and the people Im supposedly hanging out with isnt true anyway- lol so..wow. Just wasting everyones time with that BS.
Anyway. I better get goin.
I could be sleeping right now...bah
Well, a lot has been goin on lately. Ive been hangin out with Angela a lot. Good times.
Hm. Yesterday was the 4th. Magnificent. I worked all day (time and a half though) and then went and got dinner with Danny, and we visited my sister for awhile. Then, I came home..talked to my friend that was at Angelas and went over there for awhile. They lit off some fireworks, and it was right by Dan Gs house...there were a lot of people over there..lol, it was entertaining. After a couple of hours I came home and did nothing! Hm..I went to bed kinda late..and then the night before I didnt get much sleep because I was with Peachtree and this girl cayla...we went to Big Brain and Peachtree and her friend Taryn we were hangin out with got their ears pierced. After that we were tryin to go over to my friends friends house to watch fireworks because its near Rosenblat...but there were absolutely NO parking spots..so we just did a bunch of nothin for awhile..then got Taco Johns and headed back to Peachtrees. I kept everyone up late talking in these voices and being hilarious (as usual..lol)..and we had to get up real early because I had to work and they had church. It suckeddd..So..anyway. I was trying to sleep in today, but of course my step dad wakes me up saying I have a lot of stuff to do before I go out tonight. (were doing something for Crystal's birthday tonight) So, Im like..well, hey! Let me sleep..Ill get up later and Ill get my stuff done then. So he starts harassing me about getting up..and I need to clean my room..and do my laundry..,and call Dan about the mace. WELL! Dan is at work. So hes like WELL YOU CAN GO THERE AND TALK TO HIM! (Hes working on the tech crew) and Im like..UH absolutely not. Im not going to go to his work for something that I can call him about this evening..thats ridiculous. Its not like hes going to be in some store standing around doing nothing. So then he says I need to be more involved in this. UH O-M-G! lol I couldnt be more frustrated. See, I have this DM camp to go to. First step- I need more money. So, I work at the school for a week. Second- I need to find out all about this camp- so I do. Next, I have to register. My mom takes care of that. Now.. I have to find a way to get there. From the beginning I have said...my parents need to take me. There is absolutely no reason why they cant take me- but of course, Im wrong. So now..they wont listen to me or any of my ideas and as of now were not sure who is taking me and yatha yahta yahta. I have a few ideas- but its not good enough. But anyway, I also have a list of things I need to get...but I dont get paid for a few days..so thats impossible. But, of course Im just irresponsible- whatever.
And then, Im VERY angry about a discussion that someone told me about. All some people do is gossip- and they need to find something better to do.
And guilty by association- wow. I dont believe in that. I believe that it happens but I think its wrong- and the shit thats being said about me and the people Im supposedly hanging out with isnt true anyway- lol so..wow. Just wasting everyones time with that BS.
Anyway. I better get goin.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
This is the srongest like Ive ever had for anyone
I cant stop thinking about him
<3
I've fallen so deep in love you see
Until you become the very soul of me
Let me tell you something,
I don't care enough anyway
All over, hey, all over my face it shows
Said I'm talkin bout love this time
Oh, yes I am
And you know what?
It's not a schoolgirl crush
Monday, May 31, 2004
Well..this weekend has been good..graduation parties Saturday..and I worked for only 3 hours that night..then went to see Mean Girls with Angela and Krysta H. Sunday was graduation..and afterwards me and Becky went to Dan's party..then to get dinner...and drove around..stopped at her grandparents..then met Angela and Lauren in a parking lot and talked lol..then I talked to Beth and we all decided to go see Raising Helen (My 3rd movie this wknd!!) Gahhhhhh! Anyway..Becky spent the night last night..we went to bed around 2 and I got up at 2..it was soo nice..then I went to work...now Im here..and about to go to bed.
I feel really crappy..I realized this past week how much I still do like Bruno..thats been on my mind a lot..gah
Im tired..going to bed
Friday, May 28, 2004
Wow I just got back from seeing a GREAT movie..it was me, becky, nick, nicks friends, and erin...Amanda was there too but apparently the seats that I had everyone move to so there was room for the rest of us..were "too close" for her...so her, Jeff, Chase, Michelle, and Andy were going to sit by us..but I guess it hurt Amandas eyes..pointless for us to go to the movie all together..but OH WELL! :] Only this summer left- Im glad were making the best of it!!
Tomorrows going to be a long day- 5,000 graduation parties to go to..Im going with Allison and Cayla..should be fun. AND EXPENSIVE! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, its only once a year..thank God- I can only take so much of this..graduation is Sunday- its going to be intense.
Well Im going to wait for Becky to call, then go to bed! I have to get up real early tomorrow !!
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Hey folks
Today was a sad day...last day for the seniors. Tomorrow is going to be so much worse though. I was thinking how weird it will be in the morning for me, Allison, and Jeff...and then going to 2nd hour..I'm a teacher aid in that class because Becky and Amanda are in there...and now it will just be me and Thomsen..lol..and then for some reason I was thinking about the announcements and I realized Dan and Jenny won't be doing them anymore...and then I thought about band..and different it will be...and lunch...it'll just be me and Jig..wow
It's going to be weird..especially after summer's over...work is going to suck...the people I'm there because of- Ashley, Becky, Crystal, Kellie, and Peachtree are gonna be gone..I remember a few Sundays ago when none of them were there...how bored I was...GUH..
This is the worst...the only senior I know that is sticking around here for awhile is Angela..that's really awesome..and everyone will be back to visit...but that's not at all the same.
GUH and graduation is going to be...awful...like I cried freshman year because Matt and Josh were graduating...and last year because Audra and Ellen...this year...Angela, Amanda, Becky, Beth, Peachtree, Crystal, Kellie, and Dan..all of those people are my good friends..guuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and Nicole and I used to be really close..even though we don't talk anymore that sucks..and my good friend Ashley from work already graduating and is going to Missouri..
this sucks
at least Allison and Jeff aren't going anywhere..I dono what I would do if they were graduating too..
blah ;[
I'm such a pansy..
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
 You are pink. You are in limbo. Not pure and manipulated like white, not impure and noble like red. You are unsure of your real identity, but whatever you chose it to be, you can be it. That is your power. You change everyone you touch, and everyone remembers you. In literature, pink represents the place between heaven and hell. You are the one we will never forget. What inner color are you?
Sunday, May 23, 2004
just got back from becky's open house. It was a great time! Lots of people..Im pissed off though, a couple people who should have been there werent. Thats okay, Im sure they had better things to do...or at least have some good excuses.
Oh well! it was a good time.
anyway, I have a lesson with my aunt!
adios
Monday, May 17, 2004
Which flock do you follow?
this quiz was made by alanna
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: "She had a rosary in her hand, Boyd. She must have grabbed it when the quake stated. But it didnt help her, did it?"
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: my moms head
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?: Music videos
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is: 7:54
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 7:55
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: amanda..Im on the phone with her
7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?: a few minutes ago..looking outside. it just rained :]
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?: song lyrics
9: What are you wearing?: some old navy pajama pants and a white t-shirt
10: Did you dream last night?: yes
11: When did you last laugh?: when I was talking about me and Dan being simese twins today
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?: light switch...window...and the like..
13: Seen anything weird lately?: I suppose so
14: What do you think of this quiz?: its..okay
15: What is the last film you saw?: Best of Will Ferell..addicting
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: a plane ticket to texas
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: I dont have any socks on right now
18: If you could change one thing about the world, what would you do?: Make everyone nice :] ...wahaha
19: Do you like to dance?: eh
20: George W. Bush: ...I havent decided
21a: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: don't know
21b: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: don't know
22: Would you ever consider living abroad?: definately
23: What do you wish to be doing 1 year from now?: Getting ready for graduation..planning my open house..planning out college with jig
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Well, its been an exciting weekend. Friday night was.....exciting..lol. I had to work Saturday from 1-9 :[
and after work me, kellie, peachtree, and becky went to the carnival at bailis park..which was..CREEPY lol..I drove..which was exciting. We went to the US bank downtown where you have to use your ATM card to get in the door :X ..each of us closed the door after us so we could all use our ATM cards :]
Anyway..that was fun..then we went to Sonic..and home.
Then..this morning danny made me go to breakfast with my family...guhh I really didnt want to go..I had to take a shower in completely cold water because both of my parents had already taken their shower/bath..so no hot water..guuuuuuh!
but yah..I found out that my aunt is goign to be PRESIDENT of SWIBA! How awesome is that?!
yeppp :]
But..Im going to go get ready for work..........bleh
Thursday, May 13, 2004
10 SONGS YOU LOVE ]
01 311-love song
02 Incubus-Echo
03 Deseree-Kissing you
04 Joss stone-fell in love with a boy
05 Audioslave- I am the highway
06 Dashboard Confessional- For you to notice
07 Switchfoot-Dare you to move
08 Brandy-Almost doesnt count
09 Finger 11-Sick of it all
10 Avril Lavigne- Anything but ordinary
[ 09 THiNGS THAT MAKE YOU SMiLE ]
01 making someone laugh
02 going sledding
03 hearing a great song on the radio.
04 inside jokes
05 hearing nice things people say about yuo
06 sleeping in
07 romantic comedies
08 doing goofy things with my friends
09 stand up comedy during lunch
[ 08 THiNGS YOU WEAR DAiLY ]
01 underwear
02 shoes
03 makeup
04 clothes?
05 pants
06 socks..sometimes? :]
07 hair tie?
08 A SMILE :]
[ 07 THiNGS THAT ANNOY YOU ]
01 MEAN people
02 3rd hour...GAH!
03 creepy customers at work
04 reruns
05 weird phone calls
06 long lines
07 people who smoke
[ 06 THiNGS YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO ]
01 DM results-finally getting it over with!
02 Tomrorrow night..mean girls with angela!@
03 college
04 sleeping in during the summer
05 corp performance at the middle school
06 listening to my joss stone cd :]
[ 05 THiNGS YOU'RE SCARED OF ]
01 Losing someone
02 rejection
03 losing touch with my friends
04 failure
05 people not liking me
[ 04 PEOPLE YOU WANNA SPEND MORE TiME WITH ]
01 The seniors- Amanda, Becky, Ashley, Dan, Peachtree, Beth, Angela, Lauren, Kelly, and Crystal
02 my family
03 Allison, Amanda, and Jeff
04 my mom
[ 03 MOViES YOU COULD WATCH OVER&OVER ]
01 13 going on 30
02 Dirty Dancing
03 Love and Basketbal
[ 02 SPECiAL MOMENTS ]
01 fsdfssd
02 fdsafds
[ 01 PERSON YOU CAN SPEND FOREVER WiTH ]
01 ME
this is the worst feeling ever
trying to decide whether or not to tell someone how you feel about them...and knowing that either way its hopeless.
"i dont know- i think you'll get shot down no matter what- just becuase he wont think twice about it- he'll just be like well thats nice but hes committed to her"
..he wont think twice about it
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Wowwwwwwwwww
GOD has anyone watched the news!?! The man who was beheaded in Iraq...I just have no words...how does someone get so angry or whatever it is..and decide to not only kill...but behead..SLAUGHTER someone..live over the internet. With a small knife.. I cant think of a more painful or lonely way to die....Im not one to pray usually but Ill be praying for his family, and everyone.. that breaks my heart...and Im sure everyone else feels the same way. The guy was only 26 years old...my god..just looking at the picture of this man sitting on the ground with 5 men with ski masks behind him waiting to kill him brings me to tears
I swear, on AOL news..one of the links on the news is- the latest violence in Iraq...this is ridiculous.
A quote from the video-" You will not receive anything from us but coffins after coffins...slaughtered in this way."
God..this breaks my heart..
Monday, May 10, 2004
well hi.
Im sooo tired right now...
hmm Friday night me, Jeff, Allison, and Amanda went to the drive in and saw Van Helsing. Saturday was large group...and me and my sister took some stuff up to my moms work for mothers day..and that night me, Becky, Jeff, and Amanda went to Allisons and watched the best of Will Ferrel..HILLARIOUS! I borrowed it from Amanda and made my parents watch it..haha..lol anyway..Amanda spent the night last night but we ended up just coming to my house and going to sleep lol..ridiculous.
Anyway, school was boring as heck today..in band we watched the final episode of friends... :[
bleh then I had a dentist appointment..theyre crazy..I had my teeth cleaned...and then my gay dentist inspected my teeth and made a list of stuff I should come back for..one being to get my wisdom teeth pulled. And.. I want to be put to sleep..but hes under the impression that theyll just numb my jaw..and Ill just feel a bit of pressure....my ass! Hell be feeling some pressure when I gouge his eyes out for stabbing me again! He was like..well, if you do happen to feel any discomfort I will just use more anesthetic...apparently hes on drugs.
Welp..after all that I came home..did some stuff..then me and amanda went to the mall so I could search for something for allisons birthday..I ended up getting her Dumb and Dumber on DVD..which now that I think about she might already have...which will suck!..and some Simpsons pez things...a card...and some balloons for her locker...and some chocolate chip cookie mix...let me tell you..Im no Emeril in the kitchen..I butchered the cookies...I dont know how..Im a little dissapointed to be perfectly honest.
But anyway...tomorrow is going to be a longggg day...me and Amanda are supposedly going to school at 6:45 to decorate Allisons locker...because Amanda has to go in for a Trig test. RIDICULOUS...plus Im going on this Spanish field trip...lmao. Itll be entertaining. And on top of that..I have to work tomorrow night. So..Im going to take a shower and try to get some sleep before I pass out!
goolay!
Monday, April 26, 2004
ggggeeeeeze today has been a long day.. I didnt get enough sleep this weekend so I was soooooooo tired this morning...school was okay
OMFG THE BEST MOVIE EVER is 13 going on 30..I love ittttt..and Im in love with Mark Ruffalo..jeesh. Everyone should go see it...Im probably goin like 2 more times :] Me and Becky saw it last night..it was the best..I had fun
anyway..school was okay..I didnt read huck finn so I didnt get any points on the quiz..lmao wtf...and then thompson wasnt there in spanish..so I did my music theory homework..not that I wouldve been doing anything different had she been there...and like omg derek was in the computer lab with us like in front of me and I didnt notice the whole time..lmao Becky and Amanda were like yahh we thought you noticed..and didnt want to point it out and you freak out.. lol ggggggguuuuuhhh that sucks!
anyway I love it..we watched some of Billy Madison again today...it was the best..it gets me in a good mood...
soooo after school I came home and excersized..ew..then had a nap for like an hour and a half..it was nice :]
and now Im about to go watch Bringin Down the House and then go to bed :]
oh yah..funny story...the other night when I went to Angelas but I was going to go to Ashleys bfs Dale and Beth had been at Angelas but they were going to some guys apartment for some party..and they were at Ashleys boyfriends..how ridiculous.. I asked Dale how he knew them and hes like I dono..I dont really know how we ended up there..lol
niggghtt
Saturday, April 24, 2004
whatuupppp
lets see...whats new..
ehh..nothing..lol...this weekend hasnt been too exciting..I just went to Angelas for awhile tonight..Ashley wanted me to go with her to Steve and Kyles and shit I wouldnt mind...their friend Drew is soooooo hotttttttttttttt ..wowwwwwwww..lol
anyway..Im excited because I dont work at all tomorrow...which is actually weird because I never get sundays off without requesting it off...and this is the second sunday in a row...
ridiculous.
guh..my throat hurts still..
bleh
wow..for some reason I miss Nick...I had a weird dream about him last night..and I just remembered the whole thing..so now it makes sense that Ive been thinking about him off and on today...I talked to him a couple weeks ago..pretty sure he was with some girl..but eh who cares
well im gonna skidattle on to bed I think...I have to get up and clean my room in the morning so ashley can either highlight my hair or we can go job hunting ;x
whichever
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
man i am tired..so ill make this short
last wknd was cool..i hung out with angela and beth saturday night..we went to the movies then i spent the night at angelas...and like slept all of sunday... it was nice
hmm
guh i procrastinated with my solo..go figure..so yah my mouth is in so much pain..lol i deserve that though.
anyway im about to pass out
night!
<3
Friday, April 09, 2004
uh wow. people are gay.
i had to sit at home last night and do nothing because my room is supposedly dirty. And I cant go anywhere tonight either. And dannys pissed off at me because I got pissed off...uh yah I dont want to sit here all weekend.. so he like told me how i dont do anything around here..dont do chores or clean my room or do my homework and yahta yahta yahta..right.. because last weekend was prom and I was tired as hell sunday and monday...and went to ijc on tuesday..didnt get home until 10 something because when my mom picked me we went to my uncles house..and wednesday I cleaned my room and then tried to go working out...and worked last night and tonight..cleaned my car and went shopping for his birthday shit then to lunch today...
sure why dont i clean the whole house. Actually maybe I should just build a whole new house since I have so much time to sit around and do nothing.
yah and now hes probably pissed off because I told him I couldnt wait to move out..yet he says shit all the time about how he cant wait and whether hes joking or not i dont care...gay either way..and since I dont do anything at all anyway theres no reason for me to want to stay here. duh
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Today.
Wow, today was a long day. I went to see The Passion of the Christ last night with Audra and Angela...that movie gets me soo bad. After I came home I stayed up till 1:30-2:00 reading the Bible. Not something anyone was expecting me to hear from me.
It went well though.
I kept punching snooze on my alarm clock from 5:45 :| to 7:10...Im not positive as to how to set the alarm because its brand new and my moms been doing it for me but she wasnt home last night..and I didnt want to test it because I was soo tired..so I just went to bed and pulled that little number.
Got to corp at like 8:10..and I really didnt do much at all..lol..me and Chris went to burger king...did a little hosting..
Hm I went home for awhile and when I got back there were absolutely NO parking spaces..it sucked..the auditorium was so packed before finals..there was NO ROOM at all..it looked so uncomfortable..
after we performed, which was really fun..I went home and changed and stuff then came back and walked around with Allison and Natalie..
So I guess the day was okay overall..except for Bruno...I dont believe how sad this is making me.. guh..
and the prom argument..that wasnt fun. I just hope we get everything worked out so we can all have a good time.
hmm soo yah..
I feel so bad right now, all I can think about is Bruno...I hate being the girl who gets so emotional about ths type of thing but I really havent felt this way before..I seriously know hes worth it..but I guess it really doesnt matter if hes married..
eh, you win a little you lose a little..
I just want to lose a little less..
:0[
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Well hi.
Today was boring..
reallllly boring. But it happens I guess.
Nothings fun when we dont talk.
This is getting.. bad.
..Im such a loser right now...
Friday, February 27, 2004
I went to burger king to get breakfast today in my pajamas :|
that made me happy :/
anyway..it was an okay day..went to do some shit at the bank..then I got the Joss Stone cd..btw everyone needs to hear her..amazing.
Anyway, then I went to work from 4-8 which was reallllllllllly boring. After work me and Danny got chinese..then I went to Angelas for awhile. Maaaaan..she invited me to go with her and Lauren and Pat to Des Moines tomorrow and stay the night but I have to work..and my parents wouldnt let me..and more importantly I have plans with Allison already. So its cool!
ugh...I have to get up at 7 tomorrow..because I have to work from 8:45-5:00.............uuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol.
Nothing worse than getting up early.
I feel so bad for Amanda, she moved today :/ Not far or anything but shes lived in that house forever. I know how that feels. Guh :[
My poor sissy
anyway..Im reallllly tired..and as of now I can only get up to 6 and a half hours of sleep which isnt bad but Im already tired :[
..god I havent talked to Bruno for like 3 days..which is just weird...blah.......
Thursday, February 26, 2004
It was so nice outside today. I liked it a lot :]
Well, me, Allison, Amanda, and Jeff went to see The Passion of Christ tonight. It was incredible. My eyes were swollen from crying so much...at one point I had to catch my breath. After it ended no one in the theatre really said anything...and we just sat there for a long while. Until after the credits..then I decided to get up. Then after I dropped Amanda off I shut off the radio, which is very unusual..I never drive without the radio on. That movie was just so moving. Intense. It just really made me think about everything..
Wow.
Anyway, I guess I have to work tomorrow night. :/
I also work 8:45 Saturday...and I guarantee Im not looking forward to that. Im not so sure how theyre going to handle this weeked being as how were very under staffed.
Felicia is in the process of hiring new people...not fun at allllll
Me and Ashley are both getting like 25 hours right now..its insane.
Oh wow!
Joel was at the movie theatre tonight..he came up and talked to us a bit..and invited Allison to hang out with him tomorrow- how awesome is that!? They used to be pretty close I guess, but after Joel quit band and Allison stopped hanging around with all those other people I guess they just stopped talking. But, Im happy he wants to hang out with her...itll be fun for both of them.
Amanda and Becky are both going to Morningside tomorrow..and Beths at U of I right now I think. Jeesh, this year seems like its going by fast.
Hm. I have so much to say about the Bruno matter...I just dont know where to start. With my luck hell read this..oh well.
I just..havent felt this way before... Hes the best guy.
Speaking of which..is it illegal to hang out with someone who is practically married..without their spouse? See- Id love to say its not..but for example- if I invited Jeff to hang out with just me...Amanda would be angry. So..how do you approach that. "Hey..lets hang out without your girlfriend."
Why does he have to be so great..
the good news is Im going to bed now..and I have every intention of sleeping in. That makes me happy :]
<3
Sunday, February 22, 2004
blaaaaahh
its been an interesting weekend...uh if anyone actually reads this..GO SEE 50 FIRST DATES. Right away. Go..now..dont even continue reading just leave.
Anywayyyyyy..I was gonna go to bed early tonight but its already 9:00 and I still have to take a shower and get ready for tomorrow and blah blah blahhhhh
Guh and Im waiting to talk to someone...should be intersting if they ever get online.
Duh I was just on the phone w/ amanda and shes like OH HANG ON ITS STEPHANIE...lmfao her admissions counseler..she was so excited. wahahahahaaha.
SO now theres nothin to do..and Im bored..Ive probably played solitaire 30 times since Ive been home.
hmmm
I went shopping on saturday :/ yayyyyy
OH AND jazz band got second place..made it to IJC..and the little kids got 4th place..niceee.
im t-i-r-e-d
GuUuUUUUH I have to get up early tomorrow and take Danny to work...at like 6:10 or some shit like that..
Son of a bitch..the trimesters almost over.
Damnit.
bleh
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
UH HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEEEEEEEEEE!! I love birthdays
*sigh* how funnnnnn :]
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Saturday, January 31, 2004
good news...corp won...2nd time in a row- not bad.
jazz band..eh. better next time
bad newssss
i like someone i shouldnt
but hes so great :[
I saw your face in the crowd
I called out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could be what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest girl
If I was invisible
Wait..I already am
Monday, December 29, 2003
im tired.
not much went on today..or yesterday. Nothing has really happened since the night at the bowling alley..
it was a good time..i made friends with some people at the table next to us...asked this hot guy for his number.
I still havent called him. Maybe Ill do that tomorrow.
Actually, Im tomorrow..which is good..I need something to do. I think Im going to lunch w/ Ashley..we had a raincheck on some chinese.
Then me and Becky are gonna go shopping..I dont know if I should get my nails done..or buy some jeans..or pay a little for these doc martens im tryin to get. God..it sucks not having a bunch of money..if only I didnt spend it so fast.
Anyway..sounds like me, ash, peachtree, and becky..and whoever else..might hang out tomorrow night..watch a little jamie fox..that kinda thing.
I have no idea what im doing new years eve. I was gonna ask some folks to come here but I think everyone but me ha s already got plans. My parents will probably make me stay home...
"drunk drivers will be everywhere"
they told me that bullshit back when i was like in 5th grade..I wanted to spend the night at Jamies grandmas..and they wouldnt let me. Its not like we were gonna be taking the fucking car for a spin.
Anyway..now theyd probably be worried about me getting wasted. No trust at all these days..whats the world coming to.
welp..im planning on getting up in like 9 hours...
so i think ill get to bed..I need allt he sleep I can get :/
Saturday, December 27, 2003
hey to everyone who..doesnt..read this. lol. its okay, I know you guys still care and read this <3 youre just shy..right..? :/
ANYWAY!!! Lifes exciting. I havent been up to much..been hangin out w/ becky..allison..ashley..and peachtree here lately.
Me and Becky were hangin out w/ Angela the other night..lol I got in a shit load of trouble..because my step dad was fuckin stalking me.
that was a guy ass night.
Anyway..Im getting used to it.
Ashley M. invited me to go to a party w/ her..ashleys goin..that would be fun, but I obviously said no.
Some other people from sears..good life great price..asked me to go bowlin tonight but daniel said no..which didnt bug me too much bc im worn outttt
ive worked almost 40 hours this wk..fun
well enough of this!
Saturday, December 20, 2003
well I just thought Id type up a little something..for my own amusement obviously
..yah sooooooo its almost christmas.
I started shopping today..fun.
And of course people were psychotic a lot at work..people just get a little crazy around christmas time..so its basically just like 53820923 insane people shopping at the mall...its interesting..at least
..no ones online..and im so not tired..I wanted to hang out w/ Angela and or Dale tonight but they all went to the movies to see lord of the rings..for probably the 3209 time..and that was at like..8 or somethin..so i dont even know if their out yet..ohhh well
tomorrow should be fun...well hopefully at least..I get off late of course but im gonna do somethin after work..
guh I feel bad..erin was having a little get together thing last night and I couldnt go :/
good lord i have so much shit to wrap..
shoot me
Monday, December 08, 2003
school got out early
I was SO pissed when I woke up..I was expecting it to be snowing..and it wasnt so I actually had to get up.. :[
anyway..we went and got chinese during lunch and came back and ate it in the choir room..then I left and almost fucking died..this was the first time ive driven in snow..and i did like 20-30 all the way home...and like i skidded on the bridge..so i hopped out of the car and got on my hands and knees and praid..
but...not really..i did think i was going to die though.
anyway..i have to work..unless the mall closes..jesusssssss
so im gonna take a nap!
...freaking out..
for those of you not in band this is going to be the gayest thing youve ever heard..
but a pad is coming off of my clarient..and I have a concert in about 3 hours.........
my aunts in crescent and I dont know when shell be home....
and i think her clarinet is in need of some work too so uh...yah
...talk about screwed.
Saturday, December 06, 2003
welp..
just got back from the movies w/ becky and jig...it was a great time..we peoples..lol
funny story i lost my check card..but my step dad found it..and i was so excited that i didnt realize that its been so long since ive used it that i forgot my pin number...
lol so we were at the atm guessing combinations of numbers..and obviously nothing worked...so i tried again at the movie theatre...no luck..so allison and becky, being the good friends they are, paid for me..and as soon as i got home i remember exactly what it is..guhhhhhh
anyway, nicks not talking to me..suprise suprise. he has himself though, thats all he really needs. he loves himself enough for all of us.
theres other bullshit goin on, theres always somethin goin on..but what can you do.
i have to work early tomorrow, so im off to bed..
Friday, December 05, 2003
I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space
Cause now you have no interest in anything I have to say
And I have allowed you to make me feel dumb
What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside
You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me
I want to kiss you
Does she want you with the pain that I do
I smell you in my dreams
But now when we're face to face you won't look me in the eye
No time no friendship no love
Don't say don't touch you I can't touch you no more
Can't touch you any more any more
I don't touch you anymore
You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me
Am I not pretty enough
is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me,
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break,
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough
I try as hard as i can
Am I not pretty enough
is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can
Am I not pretty enough
is my heart to broken
Do I cry to much
Am I to outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
Monday, December 01, 2003
well well well..its been an interesting day
I woke up late :] and uh..Im not feelin too well..but it could be worse.
lol first hour I thought I was going to die from the sniffles. Its possible :/
anyway...the rest of the day was pretty fun..except home and car care..good god..lol...after the whole hour (in all we spent like 3 hours on it) we got our light..wires..thing..up and runnning. Thats a bullshit class if you want my opinion.
Anyway...at lunch I talked to everyone (except amanda obviously) we called the other night..they all laughed..except justin really..he took it too seriously I think..hes all like..yah I couldnt figure out what the hell you wanted..and etc..but i think everyone else appreciated it..rightfully so.
Hm. WOW interesting story.. that kid is back in town..lol...awkwarddd...
yah uh really..awkward..for that matter.
Life sucks, then you die.
HM so yah I got a little pissed off today, I wont lie. Daniel had my car today..my mom works Sunday nights so she has to take the truck (she doesnt work monday-thursday) so I have to fnid another ride to school..and my step dad takes my car...and he doesnt get home till 5 ish and my mom sleeps till like 6...so basically I dont have a ride home...and there was jazz band so they were all busy..and I talked to danny and he told me I could take the car...so i assumed he dropped it off at the hs bc sometimes if my moms up they do bring me the car..but i got out there and it wasnt there..so I had to go to the bus place and get it...and crystal, kelly, and kevin always stand outside and talk...and being as how the bus barn is like a whole .75 miles probably from the school I figured one of them would be kind enough to give me a ride over there..but I asked and theyre just like..no. lol so I was pissed off because I would have done it for any one of them..and I think they knwe I was mad because as I was walking away Kevin goes..well, shauna I mean I guess if you REALLY need a ride I can take you..and Im like no thats fine...and luckily zach y. was walking out to his car..and I explained to him my situation and hes like sure no problem, anytime. GUH he barely even knows me! lol..thank god for nice people..not that it was a huge deal..but I mean youre supposed to do simple favors for your friends every now and then..blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
anyway..I dont feel good at all :/
im gonna go do homework..and try not to fall asleep cuz ashleys coming over to pick somethin up..and I have to pick danny up in like an hour...guh!
b lee
big ups to you too, keep it gangsta ;x
Sunday, November 30, 2003
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground I'm walking on
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control
Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold
Saturday, November 29, 2003
hm
another life altering weekend. Not really. I worked 2-10 yesterday..but that wasnt bad at all beause peachtree, becky, and ashley spent the night..it was so fun..lol..were all going to start hanging out together more often. lmao "doo doooo do do do do....sorry Im just playin a little mario brothers" lmaooo mwahhahahahahahaa..anyway
all four of us slept on my bed..plus my kitty :] it was complicated but funny...guh we all had to work today..lol poor nicole she had to be there at 9...so she got like 2-3 hours of sleep then had to get ready :/ ..and becky left at 9:30 and me and ashley did my hair then she left to go to the cricket place because lmao we spilt orange juice in her phone. I think the pulps what did it..lmao
I think we all got sore throats because I left my fan on..and like I think I have the flu..everyone else said they think they do too..all I know is that Dannys sick so I wouldnt be suprised if everyone got it from me..but what the hell can you do..everyones sick..its pathetic..my manager at work can barely talk..blehhh
lmfao last night peachtree was tellin me about how her dad downloaded 50 cent..in the club because he thought it only cost him .50 to get it put on his phone..lmao. and if you know anything about her dad...youll laugh.
well shit im BEATTT so im off to bed..I had a long fuckin day..2-10..and this lady pissed me off so bad- but ill elaborate on that some other time
night :]
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
WOW. Another exciting night at home.
I wanted to go hang out w/ Beth or Allison or someone..but my parents think I need to rest at home. Oh well..
SO I got online thinking millions of people would be online..but Im like the only one...bleh..
Today was so slow..I barely slept last night so I slept through Spanish again today :] guh I wish we could have naps daily..works wonders.
hmm..
so....Oh, well..tomorrow should be extremely boring..were not having a Thanksgiving because my mom has to work..sad story, huh.
Jesus..I just listened to my parents bitch for half an hour because they cpouldnt get our phone cord to work..
I guess that advanced technology is really getting to them..
hm, gtg!
well hi.
Like I said yesterday, Im going to try and post more often.
Lets see, what happened today.
Nothing memorable obviously. Well, actually..government was pretty entertaining, Mr. Drake is hilarious. Guhhh speaking of school..I have music theory first hour.. which not only sucks because I HAVE to be there on time or Ill get a huge lecture in front of a bunch of people I know..but also because those people are really quiet. Except Britney of course. I dono hopefully people will get a little more..loud..so I dont feel like an idiot..
anyway I should go because im on my moms computer and shell kill me if she finds out :]
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
wow as usual...its been a long time..a lot has been going on..the new trimester began last week..fun.
I went to an honor band in South Dakota a couple of weeks ago, and All state this past weekend. Good times..
I guess I should be doing the rest of my homework now- funny story..im actually going to do my homework from now on- at home. Wish me luck on that.
Well I bitched a certain someone out last night..then today I found out that theyre moving...tomorrow...thousands of miles away..now you tell me, dont I have wonderful luck? I cried for like 2 hours..Im such a fucking baby its amazing.
Anyway..I got a new kitty
her name is Wrinkles..she was in the play..and Molly couldnt keep her, as a matter of fact she just got her because she needed the prop..nice story huh.
Well..my mom should be home any minute-were going to my aunts concert..
ill try and post more often.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
i wonder if anyone ever checks up on this anymore
i know i wouldnt, since i never post anything and all.
i just feel like crap right now
i think i have bad kharma.
yep.
or maybe its just alltogether bad luck.
incase you guys havent caught on its one of those nights you just feel sorry for yourself.
its been a good night though..good day as a matter of fact..drove back and forth between the schools w/ jig like 5 times...that was fun..did a little marchin at state..not bad...went shopping with jeff, becky, and allison..that was fun..we saw lauren and dani..i looooove them! then we went to perkens...listened to chicago music in the parking lot..lol..and me, becky, and allison were going to go to the movies but we didnt see anything that looked too great..and jig didnt feel well so we took her home..then me and becky drove around for awhile...stopped at wal mart and raided the aisles for something exciting. it was thrilling :/ we ended up with a couple candy neclaces, some circus peanuts, mints, life savers, bubble gum, etc. Then we drove around some more and basically vented for a long time.
And now Im home. With nothing to think of except how sorry I feel for myself. lol..thats me for ya.
i guuhhhhh..i just cant stop thinking about him, and shoot me- yes youre right I DO break the rules for myself. Does it make you feel better that I admit that? Because if you throw the rules back in I still feel exactly the same. And Im still a stupid girl with hurt feelings :/ Either way..no one wins..so
forget you and your stupid note that made me feel like shit- because I cant help the way I feel. And neither can anyone else.
and call me overly emotional..im getting used to it.
anyway..thats the end of my story
Thursday, October 16, 2003
wow its been a very long time.
update..hmm
life sucks :]
only on days that in y, thank god. Ever have one of those days where you can just think stuff like: "Maybe if I would of done ________ differently, life wouldnt suck." ?
yah, me too. Dont beat yourself up about it.
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Tuesday, August 19, 2003
some of us have wild ideas and make W-I-L-D comments.
fyi life is complicated for all of us...not just you...so why dont we tone it down a little, hm? K THX
Friday, July 18, 2003
OMFG WHAT A RUSSSSSHHH
amandas going to be here in less than 24 hours. Im so giddy! I havent seen her in 2 years..2 whole years! My best friend! 2 years! gah.
amanda[10:20 PM]: omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shaunaaaaa [10:20 PM]: yesss maam
amanda [10:20 PM]: this isnt happenin
Shaunaaaaa [10:20 PM]: what!
Shaunaaaaa [10:21 PM]: ?!?!
Shaunaaaaa [10:21 PM]: @@*35(%*#0
Shaunaaaaa [10:21 PM]: is something wrong?
amanda [10:21 PM]: nooooooooooooo
amanda [10:21 PM]: im sayin i cant believe this is happenin
Shaunaaaaa [10:21 PM]: lmao
Shaunaaaaa [10:21 PM]: oh i know!!!!!!!
Shaunaaaaa [10:21 PM]: 14-16 hours my friend
Shaunaaaaa [10:22 PM]: im so excited im not going to be able to sleep..lol
yayayayay
i have like so much planned to do.
gahahahahahhasahahahahhahahahahahahahah9erigeraogj!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thats it for today
;x
Thursday, July 17, 2003
well hi!
Got up early and danny showed me how to get to some places me and amanda are going. so, im tired. Im making my mom go to the movies with me :] ahahhaa itlll be exciting
i love this song, november rain by guns n roses. its so pretty :]
man...i wanted my sis to go with us by my parents are all freakin out bc she prolly couldnt get anyone to watch the kids so they told me not to ask. ;[ but oh well
i saw dale weedwacking earlier...lol
me and jr saw him earlier when we were moving still..he like works for the golf course...hes prolly on like the maintenance crew or something..eh
welp were gonna be leavin soon..adios
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
sooo!
woke up early and went to breakfast with my EAST COAST-WEST COAST crew= my parents.
good story..hm? Now only if it were true. Wouldnt it be nice to be able to get up and have a nice day with the family.
Me and my mom got up at 9 and were ready by 10 and danny was pissed off because we werent up at fucking dawn milking the cows and trimming the crops. If you can trim crops. lol but really we got in a fight..then everything was cool and we had a bunch of fun. I love my parents. Even if they are crazy.
Pam called at like 12:30..I was supposed to be at her house for a lesson :x
I completely forgot..actually I thought that we werent having one bc her friend cj is in town..but I went..and she wasnt really mad..we laughed most of the time so that was excitinggg.
Went and did some errands..then came home..I havent really done much. I talked to Lauren forever..she was upset that I didnt go to the drumcore thing..lol shes like our tickets were right by e/o.. i fellt bad..i so forgot about that. I need some gynsync..er whatever.. lol
GOD i cant wait for saturday..Im so antsy :]
god i need darker foundation..im almost black.
lol..
well theres obviously not a lot left to say. adios.
sh
a
una
tricky ;]
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Happy Wednesday!
Just got the nails done...and did a little shoppin. Im all pimped out now, as they would say. ;x ahahha jp. Audra's bday is like...in 3 days. I started gettin her a little bit of stuff today..ill prolly finish that tomorrow..then im not spendin anymore money.
oh god danny just came in the house so hell probably make me get off the computer..
I was up until 7 this morning cleaning. Got up at 12..Im so wide awake.
I talked to Amanda for awhile on the phone last night. There were some people at her house..and you can only imagine. lmfao she was..a little..out of it...she kept sayin damn fool....what are you doin fool...and she tried to say somtehin and shes like damn. I done fucked that sentence up. lol it was hilarious.
Then Adams like who you talkin to?? and she told him and hes like ohh let me holla at shauna..lmao..and hes like SHAUNA!!!!!! and im like hey..who is this? and he couldnt figure out what I was sayin so finally i figured it out..bc hes like SHAUNA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH..I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH COME HOME..and im like laughin and hes like im not playin i do miss you..i have a picture of me and you hangin up in my room from fifth grade..yahta yahta..he might come up here when they pick amanda up..lmao that will be so wild..seriously..I mean COMPLETELY crazy...but not too crazy bc band camp starts the next day. Damn I miss that kid..I used to be all in love with him..in the 5th grade..lmao we exchanged number in mr alsups room..and he called me that night at like 8..and danny told him i couldnt talk after 8..so he kept calling back and finally he was like CAN I PLEASE TALK TO SHAUNA ITS ABOUT OUR SCIENCE HOMEWORK..so danny let us talk..and we talked for a long time..it was fun..then when me and amanda became best friends..they also became best friends and like 7th and 8th grade I hate him so bad...then we hung out a little..and he liked jamie for awhile..then some other stuff..yahta yahta..and uh thats the story.
sooo hm. Im bored. I have to go get my 23038 pictures developed and wash my car.
and right now dannys bitching so ill post more later if i feell like it.
peacce sucka
almsot put fucka
;x
Monday, July 14, 2003
Evening :]
I just talked to Andrea...my calling card supposedly had 44 mins on it but it lasted a good 25 mins..ghetto pos. Me and Danny talked from 3-6:30 this morning..lmao right when i got off the phone danny got up. It was perfect timing. I got up at 1..and have been cleaning since. OH wait.
I was going to talk about the conversation with andrea. She automatically thought that I was like calling to find something out..which was kind of eh..dono. Most of our brief conversation was about her boyfriend..and when I started talking about something else..I was like..uh hello? and shes like OH im sorry i was just thinking about...well her bf is going into the marines next year..and she said she was thinkign about that..which we had already talked about...so she talked about how upset she was about that...and I mean dont get me wrong, my job is to be there for her..and I try to be there for her..I listen..but when she goes around telling people basically that she doesnt consider me a best friend anymore..and that we dont know each other...then doesnt want to talk about anything but her boyfriend EVERYTIME we talk...that doesnt solve anything. I am happy for her..but she has always put her at the time boyfriend before her friends. I dont even think she realizes it. We got in a HUGE fight about a month before I left because one day we were supposed to hang out...do something like..I dono we were trying to make as many memories as possible before I left..but at the same time her boyfriend was moving..to another town..15 minutes away. I was moving 15 hours away. (if you drove slowly? :/ ) anyway...I called her all day waiting for her..my parents waiting to pick her up..and she was cleaning. Then she had to take a shower. Then her mom said she didnt know if she could go. Then she had some things to do. Then! I talked to her boyfriend, who at the time was one of my best friends...and he told me to leave her alone because she was going to hang out with him. Shit like that, I dont have tolerance for. Shes hurting herself..hurting her family..her friends for this guy that..I mean..I wont get too into her business over this thing but...jesus.
..
nothing else to say about that.
Im so bored..I should be cleaning..I have piles and piles of clothes on our kitchen floor.. ;x ...and shit all over in my room, im rearranging and stuff for when amanda gets here. Which is in 5 days!!!!
I talked to her on the phone for awhile this afternoon..she was baby sittin her baby cousin maci..that little girl is so cute, shes really pretty. And from what Amanda and Jeri have said shes really really good..but while we were on the phone she flipped out, and omg Ive never heard ANYTHING scream that loud. lol it was sad ;[ .. DEWD I was talkin to my parents..and me and Amanda might get to take Rachel to Funplex. Aww danny went to my sisters this morning and rachel was outside swimming (shes ALWAYS playing outside) and shes like papa you have your swimmin suit on? and she like invited him to go swimming..lmao and dannys like no I have to go home and get mine..and shes like oh..shauna have a swimmin suit too? lol aawwww..shes so adorable. I love that little girl to death. I want to start hangin out with her more...so we can be really close when she gets older.. :] if I have enough money and if we still have our sales goin on this wknd im gonna get her a bunch of clothes, omg our kids clothes are so cheap right now..because were clearancing everything...its wild. I think Im going to go get my nails done tomorrow afternoon...OH yah! I get paid tomorrowww yessss! Shit I hope its what Im expecting it to be..because..gah..just because I said so..money goes so quickly :/ its unbelieavable.
Im listenin to this song by Brian Mcknight..its so cuteee..hes such an awesome singer.
LMAO..we went to chinese today and like my parents are so hilarious..lol omfg..danny wanted me to move so he could go pay the bill..(we were in a booth obviously) and I wouldnt move bc he called me crisco..so we sat there for like 15 mins bc he wouldnt apologize..lmfao and then I like spilled my coke everywhere and my mom screamed..rofl it was SO SO SO funny..so we jumped up and left...it was great.
I have a new obsession. Wearing a belt and flip flops that match my shirt. Crazy, hm? I got these cute ass flip flops from vanity the other day..i love them..and then saturday I got these white flip flops with clear straps and lips on them, they would be grrreat for hot lips. Theyre cute. 4$~!! gah. I love shopping. :/
enough.
No ones talking to me online so I think Im gonna roll on outta here and work on my room. Which is going to be super cool. :/
ADIOS!!
sucka
Sunday, July 13, 2003
hey hey
dannys talkin to mary on the phone right now ;x amandas going to be here in 6 days..im so freakin excited!!!!!!
omg you know what my favorite song is? my love is like whoa by mya. Its awesome.
DEWD omg im so excited. Dannys gonna let me start goin to Omaha since amandas gonna be here and we so need stuff to do.. we MIGHT go to fun plex..were prolly going to a few movies..were gonna go to west fair..and brenda just gave me a few more ideas..theres the old market..not quite sure if my parents will let us go there..but then theres the zooooo! and were going to get new shirts made if we can find some place..well prolly han gout w/ some ofmy friends..etc.
There gonna be here noon saturday :] :] :]
anywho!
beckys outta town..in missouri. I miss her dog ;[ ole molly mouse. me and mouse have had some good times. were like best friends. lol
holy shit i got tuty fruity popcorn everywhere man
whaaaaaat kind of giirll you likeeeeeeeeeeeee
i love this song. its so awesome..like..the lyrics are cool..but the "beat" is really awesome too..the mya song that is
gah im sleepin in late tomorrow..then i have to clean ;[ ...SHIT i was going to go to the band th ing but..fuck i completely spaced it off..gah..shit i have to call lauren up..! geehs
well i might go do that now
adios
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Hope youre ready to read up.
1. A good third of everything i say is out of sarcasm.
2. I think I have asthma
3. I cuss like a sailor ;x
4. I get headaches if I dont have my caffeine.
5. My middle name is Hasia and it means protected by God in Hebrew.
6. I was born at 7 something in the morning.
7. I hate mornings. Im definately not a morning person.
8. I get all excited when I get mail. Snail mail, email you name it I love it.
9. Ive never had braces. I hate the dentist.
10. I love perfumes and lotions.
11. Ive never been kissed on new years.
12. I once ate half a tube of that blue sparkley toothpaste when I was little.
13. I lived in Texas for 7 years.
14. When I was little I was really good at math.
15. My first boyfriend was Jarred Persell. He used to stare at me in class so I asked him bluntly if he had a crush on me. We used to do the little I love you thing in sign language ;x
16. Im bad at charging my cell phone. I also hate pointless voice mails. Except for sometimes.
17. I used to have a bird alarm clock.
18. I check people out- no really. Its my job.
19. I absolutely HATE tofu.
20. People who excessively compliment themselves make me sick.
21. I used to watch Drop Dead Fred constantly with Jamie.
22. Im obsessed with bed head stuff.
23. Ive spent over $600 worth of calling cards in my time.
24. I have approximately 1,534 songs downloaded. Thank God for Kazaa.
25. I love to dance, but I cant. Im white and uncoordinated. All the odds are working against me.
26. I have curly, redish blondeish brownish hair. Its so fake.
27. Im too self concious.
28. But I really could give a shit what you think about me. ha
29. Sometimes I act like a hardass.
30. I hate stereotypes.
31. Sears opens at 9:00 on Saturdays.
32. Im in love with a guy named Neil. But not really. Hes cute though.
33. Im actually in love with a guy that lives like 1000 miles away.
34. I hate people who think they know me and dont.
35. I have ugly feet.
36. Becky and I both have dogs named Molly. My dog is Molly Moose, and Beckys dog is Molly Mouse.
37. I found a bottle of vanilla antibacterial soap at six flags with amanda one day. It reminds me of the good times.
38. I get aggravated when people repeatedly refer to themselves in the third person. Mr. Webb used to do that. *shoots myself*
39. I used to have a strange habbit of grinding my teeth in my sleep. Creepy :/
40. One of the best days ever was my 16th birthday..er and the day after.
41. I met Mark May in personal development class.
42. Ive seen Dirty Dancing way too many times.
43. Im an extreme pack-rat.
44. I cry at a good half of every movie I see.
45. My wedding song is going to be "kissing you" by desiree.
46. Ive wanted color contacts for years. Im getting them soon :x
47. Ive never understood why people pierce their lip..or chin. *cringes*
48. I owe my eye brows to Jamie. Before I moved she forced me to let her pluck them. Praise her.
49. As if you couldnt tell, I pay too much attention to peoples eye brows.
50. I lost a spelling bee once because I couldnt spell avalanche.
51. My freshman year I sold $900 worth of trees and cookie dough for our band fund raiser.
52. The band room is my second home. Sears comes in a close third.
53. Um. Would you like to apply for a Sears card?
54. Im semi afraid of the dark.
55. I love makeup like you wouldnt believe.
56. I have a short temper. :]
57. Chicken Soup for the Soul books rock my socks ;]
58. I have 2 nephews, a niece..and an unknown on the way.
59. The Great Wall and Taco Bell are my favorite places to eat.
60. When I was younger I thought I was born on Valentines day.
61. I have a passion for music.
62. Sometimes when Im nervous I twitch. Not quite sure why.
63. I used to be a hyphochondriac.
64. NEVER accidently give a picture of your crush with goofy things written about him on the back..to your crush. It can ruin your whole day :]
65. I trust people easily, contrare to what Ive said in the past.
66. Im sensitive about people talking shit behind my back.
67. Im sensitive. Period.
68. I hate cleaning my car, although its usually a weekly event.
69. It bothers me seeing people running at the crack of dawn. GO TO SLEEP.
70. I love working out at the gym.
71. I will never touch a drug in my life. The illegal kind, you know what I mean.
72. I saw my first opera with my aunt. Phantom of the Opera. It was absolutely wonderful.
73. I dont know how I ever lived without my liscence.
74. Recently Ive become obsessed with belts. Belts and flip flops. I love it when they match my clothes ;x
75. I hate losing that one hour of sleep for day light savings.
76. "Love is the slowest form of suicide."
77. I trust 4 people with my life.
78. I love Eminem.
79. Ive run 1 red light.. :X
80. I have little tolerance for racism.
81. The glass is always half full.
82. Me, my brother, and my mom lived with my aunt until I was like 5. Shes like a second mom to me.
83. I consider my step dad Danny my dad. Hes been in my life for 12 years now.
84. My Grandparents are wonderful and I regret every day that I dont get to know them even better.
85. A barbie dream boat (the love of my life for a whole year) was given to me in 3rd grade for being such a nice person.
86. That puppy had a BLENDER! and a space for barbie to go swimming!!!! I was infatuated with that boat for so long..and when I got tired of it my brother (....16 at the time...) played with it in our pool.
87. My mom recently gave up smoking. Im so proud of her.
88. I have too much road rage.
89. I hate people who are abusive in relationships. absolutely HATE.
90. Me, Stephanie, and Jamie are mexican man slaves forever.
91. I love pickles.
92. Ive developed a love for the MTV show made. "I wanna be maaaaaaaade."
93. Tom Green is honestly my idol.
94. Ive had AOL for like 7 years.
95. Last summer I babysat 3 kids everyday in a house with no air conditioning. Ive developed such an appreciation for air conditioning.
96. I usually dont say things unless I mean them.
97. Fortune cookies are always right. Except when they talk about money. Those are always flukes.
98. Someone once asked me if Iowa was in Canada.
99. I have a scar on my leg from when I hopped a barb wire fence. Wow.
100. My fathers a bitch.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
well im trying to motivate myslelf to update everyday, which I think Im doing a fairly good job of.
Today has been pretty good...we went w/ justin to lunch and did a little shopping...I got a bunch of lotion and spray stuff from Victoria's Secret. Justin was a little nervous going in there, lol but we forced em. lol hes such a good shopper. So anyway everyone get your asses to Victoria's Secret..theyre having a 5 for 30$ sale for fragrances, and that is sooo awesome :] hm. and let me tell you, endless love is the best stuff Ive ever bought. It smells like this after party stuff by bedhead that I use. Mmmmm. As a matter of fact I like found out about this stuff because when me and Dan Black were helping the m.s. choir teacher move her stuff around she was wearing endless love lotion..and I asked her if it was after party ..yahta yahta.. lol thrilling story, hm?
Anyhow..I also got these flip flops that I LOVE..they like have these people at the beach on them..and the straps are blue. *Sigh* I wish we had a beach. Btw anyone who considers that fucking toilet water at manawa a beach, youre crazy. Jesus you can probably get like herpes from putting your feet in. Dont get me wrong..if I can go boating w/ like my uncle or whatever I have no problem going to manawa..but um, soaking in that piss water isnt too appealing to me. :/
Im waiting for my hair person to call me. *sigh* I think she was supposed to call like..now..but I forgot what time I called her. Im getting my hair either dyed or highlighted..and trimmed. Exciting, hm? And the cool part..is Im paying for my mom to get hers cut and dyed..or permed. She hasnt decided yet. I love doing cool things for my mom and danny. Makes me feel all nice :]
Anywho I want to do something dramatic with the hair...but not anything out of character. Yah know? I wouldnt ever be a bleach blonde..and I would never dye my hair like darker. Hopefully I wont that is. But anyway my hair person is a complete genius, so let me know and Ill hook you up. Shes awesome. Gah. I also have to break down and buy my shampoo..conditioner..hair spray..styling stuff...which adds up pretty fast. I wouldnt be suprised if I spent 300$ when we go. *shoots myself* I have such a hard to spending a lot of money. The only reason Im going to is because I still have enough money coming in soon. It goes soo quickly. I have to pay for most of my school stuff this year, plus..Im getting contacts soon. SHIT I was supposed to call and make my eye appointment today. *sigh* gahhh so many things to do. Anywho. Im getting colored contacts..which I have to pay for. My parents are hookin me up with the glasses though..and the best part is..since Im an employ I get 20% off...awesomeeee :] :] :] Seems like I have other stuff I have to..OH yah.. after school starts I have to start making some payments towards my car and insurance. Thank God I dont have to pay all of it, because Id shoot myself.
I love parents :] Today anyway. lol
Sooo. The Thursday night rehearsal approaches us. Its going to be so fun metting the freshmen..Ill be suprised if half of them show up, though. But what can ya do.
Time to go watch a movie
bye suckas :]
du du du du, dudududududuhhh daaaaamn
Monday, July 07, 2003
good morning :] oh man, today was good. Slept until 1:30..
awww this morning I woke up bc my mom came in and laid down on my bed and wwatched tv..and im like hey mom!!!! and shes like hey babe!! wheres danny? and im like I dont know..lmfao..well actually Danny also woke me up before that talking to me about his construction friends..so i told my mom he was out with the construction guys..lol obviously not making much sense..so she took the remote control and left..im like I LOVE YOU MOM..and shes like i love you too sweetheart. :] :] that made my day.
lmao then becky called me and I woke up..and called her back and shes like GET THE FUCK UP! wonderful words to wake up to. thats how it goes though.
Took a shower and did my hair for like a long time..lol..just because i had nothing else to do. It was fun :]
Thennnn I came out..and it was dinner time..lol thats how long I was doing my hair...anywho...we ate and me and my parents got in a huge fight because I was talking about how theres jack SHIT to do around here...so I told them that when Amanda gets here I want to take her to Omaha. So to make a long story short, dannys going to take me around and show me places so I know how to get around there. lol omfg..my mom left the room when me and danny were fighting..and she heard me scream at him..so shes like SHAUNA SHUT UP! and im like fuck off..and dannys like hey!...and then when my mom came in here he made me tell her what i said..lmfao..she laughed. So it was all good. We got over it.
THEN OMG danny took me shopping..i got 4 shirts..3 pairs of pants..2 pairs of flip flops and like 6 belts..Im SOO excited, I love shopping :] :] :]
I saw so Ashley with her friend kaci from texas~!..Danielle..she was with lindy dinklage..and some other girl...and then I saw Allison! that made my day too..i was so happy to see her..its been so long..she looks different.. I ran into her and the chef family minus mrs chef lady..at old navy. I saw her and just stopped and stood there. I was speechless. Since school got out Ive been wondering...what am I going to say to allison when I call her..what will she say..does she hate me? and i never quite got it figured out so when i saw her I was just like..oh woah that was weird. what do I say..lol..but we talked, and everything was happy...and mr chef lady was hilarious as usual.
Well I have to get up early tomorrow..its going to be a fun day :]
yeehaw
nighty night kids.
Happy Monday :]
Shall we rewind back to the fourth. I woke up late, as usual when I dont have to work :] *sigh*..GOD life is so loveable when I get to sleep in. Anywho! I rolled on up to the mall and ate lunch w/ Becky..and did a little too much shopping ;x got some pimp ass shit...and a few lucky folk got hooked up w/ some small gifts, for I was in the mood of gift giving :] I saw Kevin at target when I went in there to get a card, havent seen that fool all summer which comes as a suprise since his little hunny works at my work.
Where was I? AH. Soo, I went home..met my parents at Subway and watched them eat dinner..lol..
came home
went to beckys
went to get shakes
went to the middle school
spent the night here
and thats my fourth. Not too bad, Manawa's fireworks were impressive this year, everyone lost focus of Rosenblatt's as soon as Manawa's started up.
Anywayyy..Saturday I worked from 1-9, lol I went to burger king to get lunch before work...and out of nowhere Justin came to the drive thru window it was a shocker. Anywho.
Me and Becky went to get dinner at like 10..then went to her hosue and chilled..GOD let me tell you this gettin up early thing is so tough when you get used to sleeping in :|
agggghhhh..
today was excitinggg, but not really..extremely slow at work..and like always 3932 people came in right before we closed = shauna was royally PISSED.
Anyyyywayyyyyyyy..tomorrow danny's taking me shopping :] yeehawww..im such a freakin conartist. You know what place I loveeeeeee to death!? Aeropostle.
anyway.
hm
Amanda will be here in 12 dayssssssssssssss!!!
gah justins bday is this week..on a thursday rehearsal~!..audras is the 18th..GAH we all need to start planning that like weve previously discussed..k? k
way too tired right now :|
have a good day suckassss
Friday, July 04, 2003
OOOOOOOOH my gosh. I feel like talking in this puppy but theres nothign to talk about. My life is so unbelievably EXTREMELY boring at the moment. The highlight of my day is going to bed. lmao ;x
Wow tomorrow is going to be boring. I usually cant do anything on the fourth besides hang out with my family. WOOT!!!!!
Exciting, eh? Not really..theres like absolutely no way of getting in trouble hanging out with family. omfg I almost DIED today. After tanning I came inside bc I didnt feel good ..and I got EXTREMELY dizzy and felt like I was going to throw up or pass out..so I laid down for like 10 minutes and yuck :/ I felt so awful. Been worse though.
lol WOAH
just saw one of my poems up in michelles blog..i hope she got that from my other sn pf otherwise im bout to jack someone up for stealin my shit. lol..i wonder if she even knows im the one who wrote it. oh well, well see.
Hm so you know what Ive become like obsessed with here lately??
blue mascara ;x its so..niffty.
So..hear any good jokes lately?
:|
My parents rented gangs of new york..im pondering if i should go watch it or not,being as how theyre taking it back tomorrow..because in dannys words "its the red kind" lmfao ;x ..which..means that its a 2 day rental.
speaking of blockbuster..
good ole nick and his youngster broke up. Sad story, hm? Who will he date now? lol now that hes a freshman in college seems kinda like hell be forced to persue someone from his own generation. ;x
anywho- he invited me over to watch carebears. lol.. sure. "I want to hang out like the old times"...well, I got a little smarter this past year and hopefully its not possible for me to back track.
and speaking of nick, matt imd me yesterday.
I thought itd be the typical "hey, hows life, okay, BYE!" type of thing..but it was actually a little more in depth this time. See, he came into sears like last wknd with his college gf and was like HEY SIS!!! I didnt know you worked here! and im like..well hm, if you took the time to hang out w/ me sometime, we could catch up! yahta yahta..
so anyway back to yesterday. Were talking and Im like hey! We should hang out sometime...the usual.. And hes like..yah, whenever you decide to stop thinkin I dont have time for you..something along those lines. And im like...well thats how you make it seem. And he flipped out in a calmly fashion though- about how he was extremely busy with work, college life, etc. And none of us could ever understand that. And im like well ya know what, personally you never took the time out to tell me why exactly you didnt talk to me.....yahta yahta.. that lasted a good 5 mins and like usual he stopped replying out of the blue. And thats that story.
Reese is going to Europe with his gf and his dad. lol...sounds fun, huh. I like talking to that kid..lol, I always thought he hated me. And maybe he does, thats been going around a bit, but its fun tryin to get to know him.
Have you guys heard the jump off by lil kim? Reminds me so much of marching band ;x lol. Speakin of which..I think this year is going to be awesome. Weve got some rather challenging music, but not impossible. Cant wait to see the drill. Next Thursday we start out Thursday rehearsals- thrilling :] ..actually me and becky suggested today to amanda that we do somethin w/ our freshmen before band camp..but I forgot about our Thursday rehearsals..so eh. Dono what we will do about that.
omfg, yay! just found somethin to do. I ran across this girls journal and she has her playlist posted and there are like 3290 million songs...OOH i love it :] yayyyyyyy
night,
SUCKAS!
Thursday, July 03, 2003
Its been a relatively good day. Got up late :] and cleaned the room..did a little tanning..took a shower..becky came over and did the hair and stuff...we went to chinese..and the lady said SUS ZAPATOS! mhmm..and we went to the section leader meeting which wasnt half as bad as I expected..then went with becky's family to watch fire works...me and becky played on the play ground and looked for hot guys..played a little catch..then watched some people playing basketball..lmfao we were trying to get up the courage to talk to them when they left. The story of my life. Lmao Becky "I hate guys, I hate guys, I hate guys.......maybe if I just keep telling myself.."
anywho. Now my parents are fighting. It sucks so bad. I hate when they
fight..my mom gets so upset. *sigh*
Im so freakin bored.
Life is boring right now..
nothing
to
do
at
all
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
I just watched Jasper, Texas. Oh man, if you guys dont know about that you should look into it. That movie, oh man...made me cry so bad. The one thing I cant stand the most in the whole world is racism. Its so sad that people are still judging other by their skin. What I hate most is that black and white people both are stuck in this past that most of us except for some of the.. "older" folks havent been through. Cant we all just get along?
Looks like we still got this shit goin on, so heeeeeeeere we go.
AMANDA FUCK YOU. Ill be the first to admit to ANYONE that Ive made some huge mistakes and that youre not the only one who has hurt anyone in our 'friendship'. Ask any of our friends who know ANYTHING about our fighting and Ive probably told them that. But you know what distuinguishes you and me my friend? YOURE COLD AND BITTER. I could give a shit what your rant in your journal was referring to. READ THAT SHIT. I would NEVER say ANYTHING like that about ANY OF MY FRIENDS. And since Im suppooooooosedly your best friend...oh wait, better not say that, I dont want any "lies" going around....THAT SAYS A SHIT LOAD ABOUT THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE. Thats why I have a problem with you. You preach about how I wont get over shit but uh, Ive been talking to you and all that kinda stuff for the past week, and the fact that I didnt talk to you for 3 months has nothing to do with this one hun. So get the fuck over it, no use trying to drag that out. I DONT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE...and my bad that everyone knows your the "evil" friend. SAD THAT THEY CAN MAKE THAT FUCKING CONNECTION ON THEIR OWN, HUH!?! And as to the picking a guy over a friend- thats useless anymore too. Thats not my problem with you anymore- weve moved on to bigger and better things!
And frankly dont take me for an idiot. Its rather insulting. Im not as dumb as you think I am.
And let me remind me so I make it CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR.
You are in NO POSITION to judge me and ASSUME WHO THE FUCK I AM. IVE MADE MISTAKES BUT THAT DOES NOT MOLD ME AS A PERSON. That doesnt put me in some fucking categorie so think what you want, Im the one who wakes up with myself everyday and knows who the hell I am. Not you. UNDERSTAND? NOT YOU. YOURE THE ONE WITH THE REALITY PROBLEM, AMANDA. F U C K Y O U and your little headgames. SO YOU WANT TO START SOME SERIOUS SHIT? GO the fuck ahead. Im ready. And youve been ready for quite some time. Hurt my feelings amanda, go for it. I wont even wait 3 months to bitch you out about it this time.
Amanda would like me to change in my blog that I said I am her best friend because in her words we havent been best friends for 5 months and we apparantly "dont want any lies going around" if you know what she means.
so for amandas happiness and comfort :] I would like to annonounce for her that we are not best friends
welp! to whoever is reading...youre going to enjoy this one :]
FYI it wasnt exactly my idea to put my extremely personal shit in everyones view but it seems thats the way were doing things these days. Its the "IN" thing.
Now, we all talk a lot of shit? am I right? I know youre all nodding your heads. And if youre not youre a damn lie. But anywho, back to what I was saying...we all talk..unfortunately even about people we are close with. But if we have any courage/class we can say it to that person without much hesitation.
If you would like to have a brief overview of who I am take a glimpse of Amanda's journal. Theres a nice little shin dig in there..summing me up in less than a page. Take a gander...the opinion of my very own best friend, it doesnt get much better. :]
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